We Are Who We Are

At one point or another in our lives, we have all tried to conform to standards that aren't our own.  It can be something as simple as wearing our hair long because our significant other prefers it that way or buying the latest handbag because fashion magazines tell us we must have it or it can be something more personal like repressing a key part of ourselves for the comfort of someone else.  There are different levels of "giving in" and while some are relatively harmless, others can make us lose who we are.

There is nothing wrong with changing to improve ourselves or for growth - I am all for that - but we should never change something about us that WE (and lots of others) love.  Let's face it, it is usually women that feel the need to change for a man.  I don't like it, don't agree with it but for some reason, that is how it winds up and rarely is it ever worth making the change.  Being our authentic selves is as important to our existence as any other essential in our lives.  I have known people in long-term relationships where who they are and what they want out of life is lost because they are supporting their spouse's dreams or because children need constant attention or a job makes them lose their identity.  It happens to people in all walks of life.  So why does this happen to even those that seem to have it all together?  Maybe the answer is that we need to keep things in balance.  We should never stop being who we are and we should not stop pursuing our interests.  Relationships and love should support who we are rather than make us lose ourselves.  While I see nothing wrong with giving someone we love all the support and devotion we can, it should be reciprocated.  I don't know about you, but I don't want to be a watered down version of me.  I want to be the smart, quick-witted, honest, adventurous woman that I am.  Being anything less than that is a disservice to myself. 

Walking on eggshells around a potential mate is not something we should have to do if they are the "one" for us.  We should always be ourselves and if who we are isn't appreciated, then the person we were considering isn't the right person to be in our world and they certainly aren't worthy of receiving our heart.  Loving ourselves is the most important relationship we will ever have.  We should whole-heartedly embrace all of our flaws, quirks and idiosyncrasies because they make us who we are.  And who we are is wonderful!

Smiling,
V~